I wonder if it's Jesus he sees in me that's so attractive, or maybe he covets my time because I'm one of the few people in this world who legitimately loves him as a brother. He claims to be a satinist to the public, put privately he says he's a Christian. He says what he is because of his choices, but his convictions dont come into play. He has called me several times on the verge of suicide, but I was just happy to talk to my brother, loving and caring in every word, never false. I love him and he cherishes me, the battle raging over his soul rages every day, even in the natural it's manifested. "Make a choice" I say, being an example of what love should be, not the abusive father with the love that hurts. It's so hard to watch as his choices get better and then worse, like an old car trying to go up a hill again... dont quit. Surround yourself with people you want to be like, not the drinkers or druggies you call "friends". Choose life so that others may live, Life was never meant to be about you, it was the life giver who saw you in your mothers womb and knew the struggles you were going to have. Even in your pain and bursts of rage you had against God for so long because of your grandpa dying, God was wanting you to look to Him for true love, wanting you to turn to Him instead of all the other choices that numb the pain. He alone can rescue you and heal your broken, bruised, and bleeding heart.
God loves you more than I do, try to wrap your mind around that. So as you go back home and make choice after choice whatever it is, know that the God who made you is showing you His love through me. I will always love you as a brother, I will never judge you or walk away from you, if you ask for advice I will give it.
God never expected you to come to Him clean and perfect, He wants you exactly how you are. Choosing Him means accepting the free Gift that Jesus gave you, and letting Him be King in your life. You dont need to quit all your stuff, but given time with God as King in your life, it will start falling off naturally, and before you know it, you will be free from addictions, shame, lies, depression, anger, everything... It's true freedom. Embrace it.
OSJ
The Crest of the Knights Hospitallers, The Sovereign Order of St. John of Jerusalem, Knights of Malta, The Ecumenical Order.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
My Nightmares.
Recently God has been giving me visions, dreams, and even words to speak over people more so than in past experience, and It's a faith muscle that I am growing in more and more as I simply listen, not with my ears anymore as I did when I was a child, but with my heart and mind. I heard Gods voice when I was a child of 7 years old one night after my mom told me the story of Samuel. It was very authoritative, but not scary. I threw my sheets over my head simply because I didn't know what was in my closet, then remembered the story. I recall throwing the blankets off, sitting up and saying "Yes Lord, your servant is listening" as Samuel did in the story, because I knew it was Gods voice. I was waiting to hear more of what God had to say, but I just sat there is a reverent stillness.
After a moment I laid my head back down on the pillow, wondering why God decided not to continue speaking to me, but then I heard something in my head, like it was one of my thoughts... It was a sentence that was not in English obviously, and after hearing it over and over in my head I decided to repeat it out loud a few times so I would remember it, and I did.
That following morning I remember getting up and going to my mom in the hallway, I told her what had happened and then said the sentence, she looked at me all confused like and in a muted excitement she said "Oh my gosh- your speaking in tongues, Tim, That's amazing!" and that seemed to be all of the conversation. I walked away thinking "Oh good, I am normal" Oh- but I was deceived... God has had a plan for me all along, and the devil has had it out for me for a LONG time, even before the above story.
I want to tell you a story from my childhood, a dream as a fact... and it happened over and over again at a minimum of 3 times a week for years until I did spiritual warfare for myself.
[Dream]
I was playing outside during a nice summer day, every friend I could imagine was over, swinging on a tire swing, enjoying eachothers company. I remember looking around, hearing the birds sing, not a care in the world, the perfect childhood. As I'm looking around at all my friends it happens. In the snap of a finger everything dissapears into the darkness of night, friends gone, everything dark except the sliver of light from the moon, casting shadows on the giant tree in front of me, I raise my hands to my cheeks and shrug my shoulders, trying to find a happy place. The only noise I hear is myself trying to not breathe heavily because I know in anticipation what is about to happen. I don't want to move, I don't want to breathe, maybe it will go away. I look over to see the front door and inch my way to the comfort of light... but it's too late. I feel a tightening on my back, a pulling on my very spine. I turn back toward the tree and feel my spine being tugged backwards so I don't see what's behind me, even though I know exactly what it is.
I'm forced to sit in a chair as I back into it, it's the same chair, same place, every time. I cant move, every muscle in my body feels tightly wound around, but I still feel warm in this dark place. Out of the corner of my eye I can finally begin to see what pulled me into the chair, the thin and tattered cloak moving gently in the non-existent wind. eventually I see the whole of what it is, floating beside me carrying a large scythe, all I can see are the bony fingers of death gripping the scythe as the other hand opens up one side of the cloak to reveal many jars. It takes some time for the first jar to be opened and it contents smeared on the scythe, and then smeared on my chest from it's cold touch. the first jar was a dark orange, and looked rotten. and finally a second jar was applied, and smeared on top of the orange substance. This jars contents was dark purple in color and also looked rotten. once the 2nd jar was applied, I woke up... but I didn't just "wake up"
Just as soon as I opened my eyes, I was fully awake. My heart beating out of my chest and enough adrenaline to raise a dead man... I was AWAKE INSTANTLY, but my entire body was numb, I couldn't move my lips, arms, legs, nothing. My lungs were the first to not be numb, so I could breathe as my body needed me to- heavily. but sure enough as soon as I could move my lips and not whisper "mom" I would yell it at the top of my lungs, waking up my brother next door to me. Like clockwork, mom would come into my room, pray with me, comfort me, and help me fall asleep again.
This happened from 6years old to 11 years old. but when I hit 12, it changed a few times in something even worse, something that was trying to show me it's power and try to control me... Which only made it more angry.
[Dream]
I was again, outside, in the new house in Montana when it happened like clockwork. Everything snapped off like the sun simply got switched off, I looked around to see where the nasty beast was, but then I saw something in the sky, hovering in place with obvious glowing red eyes.
I didn't notice as I was looking up at it that my body was 10 feet off the ground, being pulled up by some unknown force to unholy incarnation of rage and fear. As I got closer, the more I could hear the constant scream that was directed to me, a wish of death i'm sure. but when I would get almost face to face with this thing, I would wake up in a jolt, never frozen in fear, but startled.
As I got older,the realization of spiritual warfare became a reality, the bible started to make sense, and warfare had to begin on the inside of oneself, my beast, fear.
[Dream]
The final dream I had about this happened at age 15 when my parents said "Oh Tim! You need to go outside and see the comet!" so I ran outside to look at it alone, and when I saw it, it was the most majestic thing I had ever seen. A ball of deep orange slowly hurling it's way through the galaxy, easily the size of my fist and with it, a mighty tail that seemed to cover the sky, it was beautiful, until I felt the fear again. I felt a massive demonic outpour from this comet, my heart racing, knowing this could be the largest attack on my yet, I simply said "NO! Stop in Jesus name!" and it shrunk to a comet the size of my pinky, same orange color and everything, but it wasn't in space anymore, it was but feet in front of me, hovering, trying to intimidate me. I said "In the name of Jesus Christ, you have no authority over me" and it instantly dropped to the ground in front of me, but now it was simply a worm, and was literally the color of a rainbow, but the colors were moving around slowly. In my sheer adrenaline I did not know what to do in my new found moment of freedom, so I walked away from this demonic creature, but felt like I needed to hurt it the best way I get hurt, so I flipped it the bird with both of my hands, said "That's what you get you little s***" and woke up shortly after with a smile on my face. Spiritual warfare has never been so fun.
After thinking about it for a while, I recall my brother telling us stories of him wrestling demons and saying using Jesus' name to break their hold on him, stories of angels visiting him, making him laugh, ministering to him. I was always jealous, and told myself I would never see an angel or be like my brother, but that was another battle all together, and another one after that, and so on... some call it warfare, I call it training.
I'm not posting any pictures on here regarding what I saw, because that's not what I want you to remember.
However I cant leave without showing you one of the most amazing games on Nintendo that had an impact on me :D I thought spiritual warfare was normal for everyone after this!! :D
After a moment I laid my head back down on the pillow, wondering why God decided not to continue speaking to me, but then I heard something in my head, like it was one of my thoughts... It was a sentence that was not in English obviously, and after hearing it over and over in my head I decided to repeat it out loud a few times so I would remember it, and I did.
That following morning I remember getting up and going to my mom in the hallway, I told her what had happened and then said the sentence, she looked at me all confused like and in a muted excitement she said "Oh my gosh- your speaking in tongues, Tim, That's amazing!" and that seemed to be all of the conversation. I walked away thinking "Oh good, I am normal" Oh- but I was deceived... God has had a plan for me all along, and the devil has had it out for me for a LONG time, even before the above story.
I want to tell you a story from my childhood, a dream as a fact... and it happened over and over again at a minimum of 3 times a week for years until I did spiritual warfare for myself.
[Dream]
I was playing outside during a nice summer day, every friend I could imagine was over, swinging on a tire swing, enjoying eachothers company. I remember looking around, hearing the birds sing, not a care in the world, the perfect childhood. As I'm looking around at all my friends it happens. In the snap of a finger everything dissapears into the darkness of night, friends gone, everything dark except the sliver of light from the moon, casting shadows on the giant tree in front of me, I raise my hands to my cheeks and shrug my shoulders, trying to find a happy place. The only noise I hear is myself trying to not breathe heavily because I know in anticipation what is about to happen. I don't want to move, I don't want to breathe, maybe it will go away. I look over to see the front door and inch my way to the comfort of light... but it's too late. I feel a tightening on my back, a pulling on my very spine. I turn back toward the tree and feel my spine being tugged backwards so I don't see what's behind me, even though I know exactly what it is.
I'm forced to sit in a chair as I back into it, it's the same chair, same place, every time. I cant move, every muscle in my body feels tightly wound around, but I still feel warm in this dark place. Out of the corner of my eye I can finally begin to see what pulled me into the chair, the thin and tattered cloak moving gently in the non-existent wind. eventually I see the whole of what it is, floating beside me carrying a large scythe, all I can see are the bony fingers of death gripping the scythe as the other hand opens up one side of the cloak to reveal many jars. It takes some time for the first jar to be opened and it contents smeared on the scythe, and then smeared on my chest from it's cold touch. the first jar was a dark orange, and looked rotten. and finally a second jar was applied, and smeared on top of the orange substance. This jars contents was dark purple in color and also looked rotten. once the 2nd jar was applied, I woke up... but I didn't just "wake up"
Just as soon as I opened my eyes, I was fully awake. My heart beating out of my chest and enough adrenaline to raise a dead man... I was AWAKE INSTANTLY, but my entire body was numb, I couldn't move my lips, arms, legs, nothing. My lungs were the first to not be numb, so I could breathe as my body needed me to- heavily. but sure enough as soon as I could move my lips and not whisper "mom" I would yell it at the top of my lungs, waking up my brother next door to me. Like clockwork, mom would come into my room, pray with me, comfort me, and help me fall asleep again.
This happened from 6years old to 11 years old. but when I hit 12, it changed a few times in something even worse, something that was trying to show me it's power and try to control me... Which only made it more angry.
[Dream]
I was again, outside, in the new house in Montana when it happened like clockwork. Everything snapped off like the sun simply got switched off, I looked around to see where the nasty beast was, but then I saw something in the sky, hovering in place with obvious glowing red eyes.
I didn't notice as I was looking up at it that my body was 10 feet off the ground, being pulled up by some unknown force to unholy incarnation of rage and fear. As I got closer, the more I could hear the constant scream that was directed to me, a wish of death i'm sure. but when I would get almost face to face with this thing, I would wake up in a jolt, never frozen in fear, but startled.
As I got older,the realization of spiritual warfare became a reality, the bible started to make sense, and warfare had to begin on the inside of oneself, my beast, fear.
[Dream]
The final dream I had about this happened at age 15 when my parents said "Oh Tim! You need to go outside and see the comet!" so I ran outside to look at it alone, and when I saw it, it was the most majestic thing I had ever seen. A ball of deep orange slowly hurling it's way through the galaxy, easily the size of my fist and with it, a mighty tail that seemed to cover the sky, it was beautiful, until I felt the fear again. I felt a massive demonic outpour from this comet, my heart racing, knowing this could be the largest attack on my yet, I simply said "NO! Stop in Jesus name!" and it shrunk to a comet the size of my pinky, same orange color and everything, but it wasn't in space anymore, it was but feet in front of me, hovering, trying to intimidate me. I said "In the name of Jesus Christ, you have no authority over me" and it instantly dropped to the ground in front of me, but now it was simply a worm, and was literally the color of a rainbow, but the colors were moving around slowly. In my sheer adrenaline I did not know what to do in my new found moment of freedom, so I walked away from this demonic creature, but felt like I needed to hurt it the best way I get hurt, so I flipped it the bird with both of my hands, said "That's what you get you little s***" and woke up shortly after with a smile on my face. Spiritual warfare has never been so fun.
After thinking about it for a while, I recall my brother telling us stories of him wrestling demons and saying using Jesus' name to break their hold on him, stories of angels visiting him, making him laugh, ministering to him. I was always jealous, and told myself I would never see an angel or be like my brother, but that was another battle all together, and another one after that, and so on... some call it warfare, I call it training.
I'm not posting any pictures on here regarding what I saw, because that's not what I want you to remember.
However I cant leave without showing you one of the most amazing games on Nintendo that had an impact on me :D I thought spiritual warfare was normal for everyone after this!! :D
Monday, December 13, 2010
Love
What is it about love?...
I'm old enough to see how the effects of loving your mate leads to happiness,
and also how the choice of loving alcohol can separate marriages.
Why is love so easily tossed sofluidly between eternal happiness
and the effects of a broken life?
the childhood pitter patter of
valentines day to the love that
tries to get something...
which isn't love at all, ever.
I think it's funny how no matter
where we are or what we are
doing, we are choosing to love
someone or something, even if it's ourselves.But it's still the fact that the word "love"
easily describes them all, no matter where
we are in our life or what we are
choosing to love, weather it be item or
person, we are choosing to love
whatever "it" is.
***
I'm sick of people saying "Jesus loves you"
when what they are really trying to say is...
"Jesus can help you, I have no idea what to do" or,
"Come to church, that's what you need" or even,
"I'm trying to fix you"
Notice the word love is NOT in any of those quoted
sentences? that's because there is no love involved, it's just a feeble attempt to be the "savior" of others when that's NOT YOUR JOB! It's God's job through us, let me explain...
You see... Love is a very interesting thing...
Deuteronomy 7:9
Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.
1 Corinthians 8:3
But whoever loves God is known by God.
Colossians 2:2
My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ,
1 John 2:5
But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him:
1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
It's hard for me to live without loving, but it has never been for the soul purpose for personal gain, but His! the painful part about it is there are real incredible people out there who legitimately love others, and make Him known, but they get beaten up by the world and spit out that think that love is weakness. How can that be a weakness? if "God is love" than it SHOULD be something we exercise and protect, like the beating heart behind our ribs! It's precious and uses are beginning to be seen more and more as people begin to use that gift called "love". Especially in a newer movie called "Furious Love" that you may be able to get your hands on. it's powerful. (Parents watch before letting your teens watch it)
It's a funny thing about love,
how you can love everything or something or someone, but never know who it was that gave you the capacity for it. Chalk it up to carnal nature to simply procreate, or even the need for human interaction or friendship, but you need to realize one thing.
1. Every time you have read the word love, God loves YOU, the reader of this cute blog, He chooses you over the sin you choose, and is knocking at your heart to let Him in. Have you? Will you? It's your choice.
God doesn't send people to hell, our own sin does.
I'm sick of people saying "Jesus loves you"
when what they are really trying to say is...
"Jesus can help you, I have no idea what to do" or,
"Come to church, that's what you need" or even,
"I'm trying to fix you"
Notice the word love is NOT in any of those quoted
sentences? that's because there is no love involved, it's just a feeble attempt to be the "savior" of others when that's NOT YOUR JOB! It's God's job through us, let me explain...
You see... Love is a very interesting thing...
Deuteronomy 7:9
Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.
1 Corinthians 8:3
But whoever loves God is known by God.
Colossians 2:2
My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ,
1 John 2:5
But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him:
1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
It's hard for me to live without loving, but it has never been for the soul purpose for personal gain, but His! the painful part about it is there are real incredible people out there who legitimately love others, and make Him known, but they get beaten up by the world and spit out that think that love is weakness. How can that be a weakness? if "God is love" than it SHOULD be something we exercise and protect, like the beating heart behind our ribs! It's precious and uses are beginning to be seen more and more as people begin to use that gift called "love". Especially in a newer movie called "Furious Love" that you may be able to get your hands on. it's powerful. (Parents watch before letting your teens watch it)
It's a funny thing about love,
how you can love everything or something or someone, but never know who it was that gave you the capacity for it. Chalk it up to carnal nature to simply procreate, or even the need for human interaction or friendship, but you need to realize one thing.
1. Every time you have read the word love, God loves YOU, the reader of this cute blog, He chooses you over the sin you choose, and is knocking at your heart to let Him in. Have you? Will you? It's your choice.
God doesn't send people to hell, our own sin does.
Friday, December 10, 2010
In Pursuit of God III
If you want to pursue God, I found out quickly that it's not about you.
I was looking in scripture and saw how jesus had "power" (Luke 8:46)
and also that we will do greater things than Jesus - (John 14:12)
So in a sence, you could have "power" and I'm quickly reminded of
the cartoon "Dragonball Z" when one of the fighters was suprised when
his enemies power was at "9000"
I cant help but recall all the moments in this violent cartoon of the main characters working out and getting stronger. All of them were either practicing what they have learned or training with some elite force or trainer. Even as a kid I thought "How awesome would it be to train and have power like that?" But understanding what God has done for us is not as empowering as the cartoons... It's actually real...
Realizing that "Dragon ball Z" is fake and "Having power" is a real thing for YOU as a christian, but it will take work and training...
This power is not intended to make you popular or train you into a "Christian Superhero" because it's NEVER about YOU, It's about God
working through you, God is the hero, and your his tool.
do you want to be used? :)
Here's my understanding of how to achieve said power so far...
because he opposes it, so ask for forgiveness) Then your primed to hear God.
19:12 )
God wants to use us, but many times we would find out that "God gives us the
desires of our heart" (Psalms 37:4) so we pray for new, beautiful cars, money, etc.
But the problem is that power comes from God and not our hearts!! Even though
God "Gives us those desires" we dont see anything happen... which makes us doubt
God all together, just because we dont get what we want... but then again, It's not
about you, is it?
Pride was the origional sin, not eating the apple. (Ezekiel 28:12-17)
So get the YOU out of the equasion, because it's a matter of you recieving
power, well who has all knowing (Omnicient), Everywhere (Omnipresent),
and all powerful (omnipotent)? God. If your honestly able to be a "living sacrifice"
to God, your ready to go. (Romans 12:1)
Ask God to be used.
When He speaks to you, Obey.
Prepare>Listen>Obey>Effect.
Why do people just pray for people?
Jesus prayed before healing people, and
we just assume that God wants to heal
everyone, but what if God wanted to
heal an emotional problem or quench
pride (or others) before physical healing?
You wont know unless your listening!
So listen, and once you obey, who knows what will happen!
Practice this, use it... It's just a part of a journey
Dont take MY personal words as gospel, I probably left stuff out
or havent understood anything, but if this helps anyone,
I'm happy I was able to help. The best thing to do is to
READ the bible yourself and understand that, and apply it.
I was looking in scripture and saw how jesus had "power" (Luke 8:46)
and also that we will do greater things than Jesus - (John 14:12)
So in a sence, you could have "power" and I'm quickly reminded of
the cartoon "Dragonball Z" when one of the fighters was suprised when
his enemies power was at "9000"
 |
| (I had to post this- Joke) |
Realizing that "Dragon ball Z" is fake and "Having power" is a real thing for YOU as a christian, but it will take work and training...
This power is not intended to make you popular or train you into a "Christian Superhero" because it's NEVER about YOU, It's about God
working through you, God is the hero, and your his tool.
do you want to be used? :)
Here's my understanding of how to achieve said power so far...
- Accept Jesus into your heart (Romans 10:9-10) and must be a "heart" decision
- Choose to not sin because God is opposed to evil (Habakkuk 1:13)
because he opposes it, so ask for forgiveness) Then your primed to hear God.
- You need to HEAR Gods voice if your going to be empowered, so
God wants to use us, but many times we would find out that "God gives us the
desires of our heart" (Psalms 37:4) so we pray for new, beautiful cars, money, etc.
But the problem is that power comes from God and not our hearts!! Even though
God "Gives us those desires" we dont see anything happen... which makes us doubt
God all together, just because we dont get what we want... but then again, It's not
about you, is it?
Pride was the origional sin, not eating the apple. (Ezekiel 28:12-17)
So get the YOU out of the equasion, because it's a matter of you recieving
power, well who has all knowing (Omnicient), Everywhere (Omnipresent),
and all powerful (omnipotent)? God. If your honestly able to be a "living sacrifice"
to God, your ready to go. (Romans 12:1)
Ask God to be used.
Prepare>Listen>Obey>Effect.
Why do people just pray for people?
Jesus prayed before healing people, and
we just assume that God wants to heal
everyone, but what if God wanted to
heal an emotional problem or quench
pride (or others) before physical healing?
You wont know unless your listening!
So listen, and once you obey, who knows what will happen!
Practice this, use it... It's just a part of a journey
Dont take MY personal words as gospel, I probably left stuff out
or havent understood anything, but if this helps anyone,
I'm happy I was able to help. The best thing to do is to
READ the bible yourself and understand that, and apply it.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
In the pursuit of God II
I was watching the movie "August Rush" by myself at home when God started showing me things in the movie. Because of being actively "In the pursuit of God" I had a whole page of notes, including some random things not movie related.
I instantly identified with the child in this movie, applying bible scripture, we are "born into sin" and it's our choice to "follow Him". I was astounded as I watched the movie, taking notes and having revelation after revelation as I watched it. Here are some of my notes:
"Hearing Gods voice is more than just simple obedience to words, it's beautiful"
Gods voice is not an angry commander reigning over His minions, because
"God is love" 1st John 4:8
"The world makes us loose focus, including "False fathers"
Robin Williams played a very difficult role of a "False father" and showed
me exactly what it like when you let someone, or even something, have
authority over you that is false authority. Fight it.
Who or what has authority over you? Depression? TV? Games? Fear?
They are false. Reject them.
"We can hear Him, and if we echo him, will he hear us? Yes. He is always listening"
I remember "Evan" saying "Maybe if I play, they will hear me" like he was
reaching out for something bigger than himself, he was reaching out for his
parents. Like Evan, I too am reaching out to my Father.
God hears us when we pray, it's a key to be "Righteous" (Proverbs 15:29)
So... how do you become righteous? It's called forgiveness. Once we are
forgiven, we are righteous. (Romans 5:17-19)
"Must bad things happen to us to learn?"
So many bad things happened in this movie, but there were so many good
things too, and in the end, everything worked out for good. That's not just a
happy feeling movie line, It's biblical.(Romans 8:28)
I should also point out (as an observation) that God will take us through the
same situation if we dont learn from our mistakes.
And as the movie drew to an end, I couldn't help but weep tears and get
goosebumps after realizing he finally was going home, just like one day so will I.
I thought in those tears, this is not a mountaintop experience, it's an "On the path"
experience and have no idea where I'm going, I just know I'm going deeper in my
relationship with God. There are no "Mountain top" experiences with God, He
has no end or peak. It's more of a "How far does this rabbit hole go?" question...
Wiping tears from my face, I couldn't help but smile as I thought "how am I
going to confess to everyone that a guy of my size was weeping like a 3 year old
girl over a movie like that... To be honest, it felt amazing. when I was done, I
walked around my house and said "I want more!" and God reminded me of a
song I used to listen to when I was 12, I didn't even remember the name, I just
started to whistle it. I found it online as "Crying out for love by: Michael W. Smith"
I remembered how when I listened to it at 12, I would pretend that I was a
martyr, and when I died I went to heaven to be with Jesus forever... I would be
crying big tears as I felt the peace of God all over me, then quickly shut off the
music and wiped my eyes real quick because I heard my parents drive up,
almost like I did something bad! I totally forgot about that until tonight!
God is addictive... This is fun.
"Hearing Gods voice is more than just simple obedience to words, it's beautiful"
Gods voice is not an angry commander reigning over His minions, because
"God is love" 1st John 4:8
"The world makes us loose focus, including "False fathers"
Robin Williams played a very difficult role of a "False father" and showed
me exactly what it like when you let someone, or even something, have
authority over you that is false authority. Fight it.
Who or what has authority over you? Depression? TV? Games? Fear?
They are false. Reject them.
"We can hear Him, and if we echo him, will he hear us? Yes. He is always listening"
I remember "Evan" saying "Maybe if I play, they will hear me" like he was
reaching out for something bigger than himself, he was reaching out for his
parents. Like Evan, I too am reaching out to my Father.
God hears us when we pray, it's a key to be "Righteous" (Proverbs 15:29)
So... how do you become righteous? It's called forgiveness. Once we are
forgiven, we are righteous. (Romans 5:17-19)
"Must bad things happen to us to learn?"
So many bad things happened in this movie, but there were so many good
things too, and in the end, everything worked out for good. That's not just a
happy feeling movie line, It's biblical.(Romans 8:28)
I should also point out (as an observation) that God will take us through the
same situation if we dont learn from our mistakes.
And as the movie drew to an end, I couldn't help but weep tears and get
goosebumps after realizing he finally was going home, just like one day so will I.
I thought in those tears, this is not a mountaintop experience, it's an "On the path"
experience and have no idea where I'm going, I just know I'm going deeper in my
relationship with God. There are no "Mountain top" experiences with God, He
has no end or peak. It's more of a "How far does this rabbit hole go?" question...
Wiping tears from my face, I couldn't help but smile as I thought "how am I
going to confess to everyone that a guy of my size was weeping like a 3 year old
girl over a movie like that... To be honest, it felt amazing. when I was done, I
walked around my house and said "I want more!" and God reminded me of a
song I used to listen to when I was 12, I didn't even remember the name, I just
started to whistle it. I found it online as "Crying out for love by: Michael W. Smith"
I remembered how when I listened to it at 12, I would pretend that I was a
martyr, and when I died I went to heaven to be with Jesus forever... I would be
crying big tears as I felt the peace of God all over me, then quickly shut off the
music and wiped my eyes real quick because I heard my parents drive up,
almost like I did something bad! I totally forgot about that until tonight!
God is addictive... This is fun.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
In the pursuit of God (Grail Diary)
I started a journal, a special one dedicated to the pursuit of God, and the puzzle pieces that the bible have regarding your "Walk with Christ". Every verse is applicable to the book, every story a puzzle piece to fit together, every book applicable to you personally.
I remember the "Grail diary" from Indiana Jones, and how passionate the father was to find the actual Grail. Myths and legends of objects are one thing, but applying scripture to your life, and chasing after God, will make you want to sleep with a pen and paper.
It's not a myth to pursue Christ, It's the largest treasure that many have ignored... Sad. God is not a cup, nor a box to be contained in for your own benefit, you cant control Him, only follow his footsteps until something happens.
"It's work to pursue God, but so many of us fall short by loving ourself instead, being comfortable where we are, or wanting the gift without working for it or acknowledging the giver" Many people start this journey, reach ministry or even gain popularity, and think it's the top... it's not. Only when I see the backside of God as moses did will I be satisfied. Only when I'm walking side by side with my King of Kings will I be at home.
Miracles were never intended to raise someone to the status of "godly". God needs faceless hero's of the faith who will raise up themselves to the calling God has set before them... It's called the Bible. You don't need to be perfect to start a journey, just willing to start.
Wanna join me on this last epic quest? You can. Start here:
1) Buy a Journal
2) Write these verses in the journal
and comment on them
Jeremiah 29:13
2nd Timothy 2:22
Psalm 139:15-16
Acts 17:26
Matthew 5:48
Deuteronomy 4:29
Ephesians 3:20
John 17:23
1 John 4:10
And finally,
Luke 15:11-32
3)Read the bible for yourself, don't wait until Sundays :D
Your on your own journey, not riding on the robe of your pastor to bottle feed you bible.
I remember the "Grail diary" from Indiana Jones, and how passionate the father was to find the actual Grail. Myths and legends of objects are one thing, but applying scripture to your life, and chasing after God, will make you want to sleep with a pen and paper.
It's not a myth to pursue Christ, It's the largest treasure that many have ignored... Sad. God is not a cup, nor a box to be contained in for your own benefit, you cant control Him, only follow his footsteps until something happens.
"It's work to pursue God, but so many of us fall short by loving ourself instead, being comfortable where we are, or wanting the gift without working for it or acknowledging the giver" Many people start this journey, reach ministry or even gain popularity, and think it's the top... it's not. Only when I see the backside of God as moses did will I be satisfied. Only when I'm walking side by side with my King of Kings will I be at home.
Miracles were never intended to raise someone to the status of "godly". God needs faceless hero's of the faith who will raise up themselves to the calling God has set before them... It's called the Bible. You don't need to be perfect to start a journey, just willing to start.
Wanna join me on this last epic quest? You can. Start here:
1) Buy a Journal
2) Write these verses in the journal
and comment on them
Jeremiah 29:13
2nd Timothy 2:22
Psalm 139:15-16
Acts 17:26
Matthew 5:48
Deuteronomy 4:29
Ephesians 3:20
John 17:23
1 John 4:10
And finally,
Luke 15:11-32
3)Read the bible for yourself, don't wait until Sundays :D
Your on your own journey, not riding on the robe of your pastor to bottle feed you bible.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Is it "my destiny" I chase? or God?
I have seen a trend with most humans I have met, they look after themselves.
Once self-preservation is not a question, they look for fame or riches... or do nothing.
It's so interesting to be where I'm at in life, in such a turning point into my destiny, after making mistakes and choosing the right path to the best of my abilities, it seems there is a reward finally. But then again... Have I been pursuing Gods destiny for ME this whole time?
Is it selfish to pursue the honest, sustainable change of others and receive loving people into your life who want to fulfill 2nd Timothy 2:22 by your side? We all need a real brother to run the race with us. By real I mean, not fake. Someone who is willing to run after God with everything they have, to spur each other on. It's in that bond of brothers that honesty is built, and you cant pursue God when your "Fine where im at" or are hiding sins that your not willing to let go, including un-forgiveness.
Is it ok to not care about other's lives in the pursuit of happiness, or is it happiness to pursue the lives of others? Well, I think so, and that's why I'm in the ministry. I love to love, NOT FOR MY SAKE- but for His. God has chosen me to love others into the Kingdom of God, using me as a tool.
Have you ever been used? Been a tool? I want to be God's Tool. To be used is... an honor beyond understanding! When I enter the gates of heaven, I want to be all battered and dirty from all the kids I have hugged, disease riden youth and adults I pray for, and experiences I have and simply tell God "God- That was a great ride" but more importantly, the words that haunt me to this day are me wanting my fathers approval, so that when I hear Gods voice I hear "You have done well my good and faithful servant" I need to LISTEN and OBEY my masters voice...
However, it was my mistake to put that sublime reverence on a human leader, which is what I did for a season, and it was wrong. Obedience and respect is definitely a role that must be given to your spiritual leaders, but to treat them in a regard that only should be given to God himself is wrong, and I publicly apologize for that.
Is it selfish to gain popularity in the pursuit of your own destiny? Once it becomes about you more than God, or even your family more than God, It's Idolatry. Sure you may be the next AC/DC but what's the worth to literally gain the whole world and loose your soul? Check your motives. I hear too many people who want to get a good job, make it rich, get popular, get married, have a family, have a TV show about your family...(That was the amplified version of course) but the thing they leave out of the equation is GOD! How do you expect to be "In the pursuit of happiness" and leave out God? It's like being on a stationary bike! Apply basic bible verses early in life and BAM! you have a foundation ready for success...
God will lead you all over the place and take you through some crazy situations for sure. It's a journey as real as Indiana Jones, complete with bad guys, and it's YOUR job to begin that journey.Read the bible,
Apply what you learn,
It's a choice without excuse.
Your a Christian? but you dont know anything about it except church. Well, it's a matter of "Following Christ"
So follow Him.
Did you know that if you read the bible like any normal book it would take 3 full days of reading?
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Asia 2010 "Reflections"
I was in Singapore at the time, riding in a taxi to the place that we were staying at, and I was thinking again “How did I get here, what choice did I make in life that brought me to this place?” so I started thinking about past dreams and choices, and ended up just having some fun life flashbacks as we were driving down the road. The following is an exact recall of said flashbacks.
I was remembering my childhood vividly in California, remembering in private school when the Super Nintendo came out and how all the kids my age were talking about yoshi
(The cute baby green dinosaur) … and how clueless I was to what they were talking about, I felt somewhat unprivileged at the moment, but then realized I could care less. I am way more important than some stupid piece of metal, I walked away from them, looking at the scenery outside thinking to myself "What defines who I am?"
***I was startled as the car I was in slammed on the brakes to avoid the 2 motorcycles that had cut him off. The driver started saying words in a foreign language, I could tell he was slightly upset.
I closed my eyes again, remembering a single dream I had as a child,
when I walked up in the woods at the age of 9, it was so incredibly peaceful. No one was outside and there was a cold but fresh air out. I walked back home and started to think of a turtle shell, and in that moment the sun finally rose in all of it’s magnificence, the clouds parting in reverence. The sun was actually God Himself, and Jesus was rotating around Him slowly like a planet. I felt so at peace, knowing everything was going to be ok. I saw Jesus smile at me personally.
***I was startled at the knocking of my window at a homeless, lazy-eyed woman, poorly dressed with a sad stare that was a knife to the heart. She was begging for money shortly after. I was told to “Never give them money” otherwise I would have in that moment, it felt like she had never experienced what true love and freedom were like.
Again, I closed my eyes to see myself laying in the back of my parents car, traveling through Nevada as we were moving to Montana. Through the rainstorm I was looking at the landscape appreciating Gods creativity, the way he makes things, and appreciating my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Tamara. Traveling from highway to interstate, hotel to motel, the sunrises and sunsets. Waking up at 11 years old to the sunrise in a foreign town I would probably never see again; It’s no wonder I love to travel.
***I opened my eyes to see a landscape lit up with the lights of Singapore economy, large buildings and newly created structures screaming for tourists. The expensive attractions and beautiful places to visit… I quickly realized that there was no middle class here… Just the Poor and the Rich.
I closed my eyes again, instantly seeing myself at 15 sitting in a tree with Jeret, watching the sunset, listening to the grass and the branches being influenced by the evening breeze. The last rays of the sun glimmering off the creek near by, and as the sun sets, someone said in near poetic tone “Today was a good day”. As the mountains ate the summer sun, we make our way back home. Crossing the slender bridge that would only hold young teenagers anyway, dodging cow poop and throwing rocks off a cliff before actually going back home.
***I freak out and grab whatever I can as the driver honks the horn and dodges through traffic, missing by inches other cars and motorcycles carrying families of 5 or less. Some of them looking at us and doing double takes, not believing that we were there. I just smile as we keep dodging traffic, or weaving in and out of a highway fatality as I like to say.
I still cant figure out how I got here, why I choose to do the right thing, why I want more of God, and why yet some others don’t care. I cant figure out how I got to be a Knight, how I got to be a pastor, how I was impressioned to live this incredible, adventurous lifestyle. How do I show people what I already know? How do I throw people the same seed I caught onto as a kid?
I started a personal journal in the same looks as the one found in the movies "Indiana Jones", specifically the film "The Last Crusade". This journal is set to journal my own personal nuggets and revelations regarding my relationship with God. I have noticed that after reading the bible and applying scripture to every day life, you begin to see puzzle pieces fit together and form something completely new that you never saw before. This Journey called "Christianity" is "Following Christ" but if we don't do that, were just people "Going to church"
Start your Journey... I would give you hints on how I started, but I have no idea when it began, I know it's all individually tailored to the person, and if you follow through with it, hear this... You will be shaken, you will be under attack in many ways you never thought possible, working through those is evidence you are headed in the right direction.
Start your journey.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Glenn Beck's letter to his college daughter
"GLENN: My daughter just started her first year in college and as I was flying here today, I didn't feel like I had anything to share with you that you hadn't already learned here. I took out my journal and looked up the things that I wrote to my daughter as she was sitting there listening to one of her professors on her first day as a Freshman. These are the things that I wrote to tell my daughter: "
You are never alone and there is never trouble that is beyond help. Your father loves you and your Heavenly Father loves you. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow may never come, but as long as we have today, it's never too late. Question with boldness.
Read what they tell you not to. Challenge everything. The educated of this time are growing arrogant, and arrogance leads to darkness. Sunlight is the best disinfectant. However, sanitizer is a must, especially in New York City. In New York City, honey, it's best both times just not to touch. Look for the exits. They may save your life. Respect others. Know that they are most likely afraid, just like you. In fact, I found more arrogant and forceful they become, the more afraid they are. The worst thing in life you can do is dishonor yourself or your family and then go living a life without setting it right.
Marry for love, marry for laughs, but most importantly, as my wife Tania taught me, marry with God. For without God, life's storms are too strong to withstand. Wealth and fame are an illusion. We've been rich, we've been poor. We've been happy both times. The only times I've truly been miserable is when I was lying to myself or to others.
Alcohol and drugs make life easier for a very short time and then they destroy. There is no experience that is bad. Experience just is. It's what you do with that experience, how you'll use it. Will it shape your life for the better and help you become a stronger person? Or will you allow those experiences to smother and destroy you?
Call 911 first and then call your dad. Always have a picture on your desk of someone you admire. Don't let life wash over you wave after wave. You're not a rock. Learn from the waves. Learn from the currents. Choose to sail.
"I am that I am" is the most powerful phrase in any language, as it is the name of God. Never use it in vain. Use it to create who you want to be. I am, blank. But know if you don't fill that blank in, someone else will. You can ignore it, but if you do, it will be filled in by others or just life. There will always be many that will try to fill that blank in but only you can fill it in and be happy.
The Lord lives and He is personal. He loves you, and he's always there to help. But we have to train ourselves to hear it. We have to use our faith and exercise it like a muscle. The more we use faith, the louder he becomes. Serve Him in all things. Stand where He asks you to stand. Stand, for you do have a purpose. Your job is just to remember who you are, remember what you agreed upon. We're meant to be happy. But remember, no pain, no gain. Life is hard and then it gets harder. And then you die.
But every single second of life is worth it. Always say what you mean and mean what you say. Turn the other cheek and always forgive. But don't forget so much that you put yourself in the same situation. Question authority, including everything that I've just told you. Make these things true because you know them to be true. You have everything you need. You have everything you need to be happy. May you figure that out before I do. Freedom, rights, are given to man by God. They are His. Protect them. You are the guardian.
Private jet travel is the only material thing that can actually change your life. However, refined manner, gentleness, meekness, kindness, will be the only currency of any true value. Stuff doesn't matter. Forgiveness is divine. The atonement is real. You are worthy. Hell is an eternity of regret, not being able to forgive yourself.
Haves smell worse in the summer. Walk a lot and never stop noticing things around you. When you do, change your ways or change your address. People are good. They want to do the right thing. Give them the opportunity. Shadows are darkest at noon, and it always gets colder before sunrise.
It's never wrong to do the right thing. Learn to love others that you don't know or really don't like. Read the scriptures every day. They are alive, and He speaks to you through them. There are no coincidences in life. Learn, laugh, love. Sleep hard and sleep less. Pray on your knees. To whom much is given, much is required. You've been given the world and beyond.
Only date those who love you as much as I do. Only date those who will treat you as I have tried. If you are going to date, do it with the knowledge of marriage preparation. Never date just because you like someone, that's what friendship is for, build that up first.
Never want anything too much. You'll always end up paying too high of a price one way or another.
If you must shoot, shoot to kill.
Labels are meaningless. Someone you meet today is afraid or suffering. Find them. Comfort them. Never let the sun go down without saying you're sorry for your wrongs. Your dad misses you. Call him. Call him now. What? Why haven't you called him yet?
Life goes by far too fast. Keep a journal. Write what you think; write what you question; write what you know. There is order in all things. Stay in that order. Stay in the flow. You will find very few real friends in life. Cherish them. Things will change and you'll fall in and out of each other's lives, but when you do come back, it will be as if you never left. The hardest thing to do is to admit failure, to admit weakness. Only the very strong do. The weak never ask for help. Fasting is prayer. Fasting without prayer is a diet. And why? Why haven't you called your father yet?
"GLENN: That's something that I actually wrote as I listened to my daughter's orientation at her college and I sat there and I thought, what could I possibly give her as advice. And I wrote those things down for her. That is I don't know. As I was sitting there listening to that, I hadn't heard that whole thing yet and as I sat there and listened to it, I thought, boy, this is the lifetime of hard lessons, a lifetime of, if I could leave my family with just my knowledge that I think is important, that would be it. What I consider common sense."
"TIM: I added some of my own morals to the list, seeing it all as true, there was no way I could help but see this list, not as a gospel, but common sense that NEEDS to be applied and should be questioned. If you are not sure about a part of this, feel free to ask someone, growth happens when you learn something by experience or are taught no matter what age you are. Love God and Love others"
You are never alone and there is never trouble that is beyond help. Your father loves you and your Heavenly Father loves you. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow may never come, but as long as we have today, it's never too late. Question with boldness.
Read what they tell you not to. Challenge everything. The educated of this time are growing arrogant, and arrogance leads to darkness. Sunlight is the best disinfectant. However, sanitizer is a must, especially in New York City. In New York City, honey, it's best both times just not to touch. Look for the exits. They may save your life. Respect others. Know that they are most likely afraid, just like you. In fact, I found more arrogant and forceful they become, the more afraid they are. The worst thing in life you can do is dishonor yourself or your family and then go living a life without setting it right.
Marry for love, marry for laughs, but most importantly, as my wife Tania taught me, marry with God. For without God, life's storms are too strong to withstand. Wealth and fame are an illusion. We've been rich, we've been poor. We've been happy both times. The only times I've truly been miserable is when I was lying to myself or to others.
Alcohol and drugs make life easier for a very short time and then they destroy. There is no experience that is bad. Experience just is. It's what you do with that experience, how you'll use it. Will it shape your life for the better and help you become a stronger person? Or will you allow those experiences to smother and destroy you?
Call 911 first and then call your dad. Always have a picture on your desk of someone you admire. Don't let life wash over you wave after wave. You're not a rock. Learn from the waves. Learn from the currents. Choose to sail.
"I am that I am" is the most powerful phrase in any language, as it is the name of God. Never use it in vain. Use it to create who you want to be. I am, blank. But know if you don't fill that blank in, someone else will. You can ignore it, but if you do, it will be filled in by others or just life. There will always be many that will try to fill that blank in but only you can fill it in and be happy.
The Lord lives and He is personal. He loves you, and he's always there to help. But we have to train ourselves to hear it. We have to use our faith and exercise it like a muscle. The more we use faith, the louder he becomes. Serve Him in all things. Stand where He asks you to stand. Stand, for you do have a purpose. Your job is just to remember who you are, remember what you agreed upon. We're meant to be happy. But remember, no pain, no gain. Life is hard and then it gets harder. And then you die.
But every single second of life is worth it. Always say what you mean and mean what you say. Turn the other cheek and always forgive. But don't forget so much that you put yourself in the same situation. Question authority, including everything that I've just told you. Make these things true because you know them to be true. You have everything you need. You have everything you need to be happy. May you figure that out before I do. Freedom, rights, are given to man by God. They are His. Protect them. You are the guardian.
Private jet travel is the only material thing that can actually change your life. However, refined manner, gentleness, meekness, kindness, will be the only currency of any true value. Stuff doesn't matter. Forgiveness is divine. The atonement is real. You are worthy. Hell is an eternity of regret, not being able to forgive yourself.
Haves smell worse in the summer. Walk a lot and never stop noticing things around you. When you do, change your ways or change your address. People are good. They want to do the right thing. Give them the opportunity. Shadows are darkest at noon, and it always gets colder before sunrise.
It's never wrong to do the right thing. Learn to love others that you don't know or really don't like. Read the scriptures every day. They are alive, and He speaks to you through them. There are no coincidences in life. Learn, laugh, love. Sleep hard and sleep less. Pray on your knees. To whom much is given, much is required. You've been given the world and beyond.
Only date those who love you as much as I do. Only date those who will treat you as I have tried. If you are going to date, do it with the knowledge of marriage preparation. Never date just because you like someone, that's what friendship is for, build that up first.
Never want anything too much. You'll always end up paying too high of a price one way or another.
If you must shoot, shoot to kill.
Labels are meaningless. Someone you meet today is afraid or suffering. Find them. Comfort them. Never let the sun go down without saying you're sorry for your wrongs. Your dad misses you. Call him. Call him now. What? Why haven't you called him yet?
Life goes by far too fast. Keep a journal. Write what you think; write what you question; write what you know. There is order in all things. Stay in that order. Stay in the flow. You will find very few real friends in life. Cherish them. Things will change and you'll fall in and out of each other's lives, but when you do come back, it will be as if you never left. The hardest thing to do is to admit failure, to admit weakness. Only the very strong do. The weak never ask for help. Fasting is prayer. Fasting without prayer is a diet. And why? Why haven't you called your father yet?
"GLENN: That's something that I actually wrote as I listened to my daughter's orientation at her college and I sat there and I thought, what could I possibly give her as advice. And I wrote those things down for her. That is I don't know. As I was sitting there listening to that, I hadn't heard that whole thing yet and as I sat there and listened to it, I thought, boy, this is the lifetime of hard lessons, a lifetime of, if I could leave my family with just my knowledge that I think is important, that would be it. What I consider common sense."
"TIM: I added some of my own morals to the list, seeing it all as true, there was no way I could help but see this list, not as a gospel, but common sense that NEEDS to be applied and should be questioned. If you are not sure about a part of this, feel free to ask someone, growth happens when you learn something by experience or are taught no matter what age you are. Love God and Love others"
A Special note from Ben Stein
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.
"My confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees... I don't feel threatened.. I don't feel discriminated against.. That's what they are, Christmas trees.
It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu .. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina).. Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'
In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about.. And we said okay..
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing yet?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit.
If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Ben S"
"My confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees... I don't feel threatened.. I don't feel discriminated against.. That's what they are, Christmas trees.
It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu .. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina).. Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'
In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about.. And we said okay..
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing yet?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit.
If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Ben S"
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Traveling to Bintan Island.
My brain hit record once the incredibly dank odor of “disgusting unclean restroom” hit my nose. I quickly finished my business and walked toward the vessel that was going to take all of us to the next ministry opportunity. As we all got our passports stamped yet again, we left to our transport boat that made birth in Singapore and our destination was Bintan Island.
The boat was big and clean, with hardly anyone taking this trip. The gentle waves slapping the side of the ship as the roar of the massive engines behind us gave me a sense of euphoria. I sat in my chair, only to look to my left, watching an old Chinese man sleeping in his chair, with the windows next to him and a 6 foot in circumference padding buoy tied tightly to the outside, obstructing most of the sea viewing window. Not a noise was heard over the humming of the engine, slipping into my seat I sank into a deep sleep… Of course I did eat a little snack and enjoyed “Shrek” being played right in front of me for a few minutes before I slept. The boat rocked in the sea, the people rested in it’s gentle throw, The head was used, and the people unenthused.
I woke quickly to a startling tap on my shoulder and vaguely heard a voice utter “Were here”. I never noticed that the boat turned to dock and was ready to unload everyone. All of us quickly got up and got off the boat, my left leg trying to wake up as well.
Walking through the outdoor hallways and passing through customs, we nabbed our bags quickly and got in a waiting van. As we were being ushered from the government facility, all of us were commenting on the color coordinated family packed on a motorcycle, that’s right, 5 people on a two person motorcycle; we all wish we had a camera.
Travelling to our final destination, stopping only for a random doughnut break, we zoomed through the countryside passing every available motorcycle and nearly endangering our lives multiple times in transit. It was so beautiful to drive by the ocean, the red clay deposits that consumed the island combined with the many palm trees created a very unique travel experience. I found out later that some of the palm trees that had no head on them were struck by lightning, and there were a lot of palm trees that looked like sticks coming out of the ground.
Once we got to our place of ministry we were all VERY shocked at where it was and the quality of which the venue was being held. The 2 story resort was touching the south china sea, and the view from the sea from anywhere in the complex was nothing short of beautiful. Rocks grouped on one side of the island accented the alien sunset on the horizon; peppered with little islands. We had a few hours to prepare for the session that was going to happen that night. I couldn’t help but look out into that peaceful landscape and love Gods creation, that He could make something that beautiful and say “This is for you because I love you, but there’s so much more you haven’t seen”.
It was a blast spending time in the rock formations, digging through a narrow passage between rocks, and running around with local kids from the island hiking around the rocks who spoke no more English than "spider-man" and "the hulk" which was pronounced "Hulek" by their tongue.
The days that followed were full of ministry and food, but it was quickly evident that there was a language barrier in place, and I HATED IT! It’s so hard to talk to the “next generation” speaking an entirely different language halfway around the world. It was very strange to again feel like the minority in society.
There was a moment when I stepped my first foot in the sea, the warm bath water sensation and familiar aroma of salt water that I cherished as a youth. It was easy to jump in the sea, unlike the cold snow runoff of western Montana, this sea was alive. The sea floor was living and nearly moving with animals of many kinds, from those with little fins swimming to those with shells and claws on the bottom, there was always movement. I snorkeled on the cloudy coast of this place, looking for sunken treasure at first, then finally being mesmerized by a single fish the size of my pinky that dug a hole for itself in the sand and decorated around it many small shells, it would pop out when I moved, so you can just imagine how much entertainment I got, at the fishes expense.
During one of the many ministry times we had there, we had the youth fill out “lie cards” which basically are cards that people fill out stating what lies they believe, and all of them are deep rooted, painful things. As I was taking the cards from the youth as they finished, there were 2 times that I felt like God was telling me to “look at this card” so I dog eared the 2 the Lord prompted me to view and continued my job as “lie collector”.
The last night we were there, I was finally able to talk with one of the 2 people God told me read their “lie cards” He had 3 lies written down, and I addressed all 3. I will put a * by the lies addressed.
Using the translator, I said:
Using the translator, I said:
“Out of everyone, there were only 2 people God wanted me to talk to, and that makes you special"
"And, God told me to read the lie card you wrote”
(His face turned to an embarrassed pain)
“As I read the card, I realized why I was supposed to read it”
“It’s because we have gone through so much of the same thing”
(Now he was listening)
“I know what it’s like to be called names*, to be called a queer, and be so angry at others. I know how much it hurts when people say those things and you cant get it out of your head… you feel like a failure without a destiny*. ”
(He was holding back tears and moving from side to side)
“God made you special for this time, you are important and I want to let you know that you can do it, it really hurts at times, but you need to guard your heart like a shield, let God show you who you are, not others. There’s a lot of people here who know you and love you, they WILL help you through this, don’t be afraid to talk to people you trust. You will never be abandoned*, because you are surrounded by people who again, love you. Remember that.
"And, God told me to read the lie card you wrote”
(His face turned to an embarrassed pain)
“As I read the card, I realized why I was supposed to read it”
“It’s because we have gone through so much of the same thing”
(Now he was listening)
“I know what it’s like to be called names*, to be called a queer, and be so angry at others. I know how much it hurts when people say those things and you cant get it out of your head… you feel like a failure without a destiny*. ”
(He was holding back tears and moving from side to side)
“God made you special for this time, you are important and I want to let you know that you can do it, it really hurts at times, but you need to guard your heart like a shield, let God show you who you are, not others. There’s a lot of people here who know you and love you, they WILL help you through this, don’t be afraid to talk to people you trust. You will never be abandoned*, because you are surrounded by people who again, love you. Remember that.
(He was now crying hard with tears rolling down his face, trying not to sob)
“I want to give you a coin so that you remember everything I just said, and everything you learned at camp this year.”
“I want to give you a coin so that you remember everything I just said, and everything you learned at camp this year.”
I gave him a coin, and asked the translator if it was ok for me to give him a hug (literally asking for permission) after gaining permission, I asked the boy through the translator if I could Give him a hug, and he said yes, and I literally picked him up and twirled him around a few times, the translator laughing at my type of hug. I had the translator tell the boy “Remember what God did at camp” and we went our way.
Leaving almost abruptly the next day, I left with a smile on my face and an appreciation for being obedient to what my mission is here in Asia.
1. Protect everyone
2. 2. Carry heavy stuff
3. 3. Help with setting up books
4. 4. Focus on the details
5. 5. Over communicate
Saturday, October 30, 2010
The tape recorder (w/music)
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| Stock Photo- Kay's Hotel is to the left of the giant blue tower. |
The event today was full of maybe 300 youth- I didn’t count, but the massive auditorium was pretty full. Along with the GOV Team, I was able to speak (Using a translator) to the youth about my testimony and share with them about the chains that hold you back. Looking into the future, would you wish you had a chance to be free? Lying on your death bed as an old person, would you have traded it all to just be free from the addictions of pornography? The regret of Abortion? The shame you hold onto?
The entire night had an underlying theme of freedom, and let me tell you, after we were done, we had the chance to pray for anyone who wanted it. I prayed for a number of people who wanted to dedicate themselves to purity or break the chains of pornography. One man I prayed with got pretty intense! I had him show everything in the light- I told him that nothing will scare me, that your in a battle and need someone to fight with you… He told me 2 things, and I wrapped his hands in a chain from my wallet, symbolizing his addiction that is holding him captive.
I realized as I started praying that I loved this guy! He wanted more of God, and the freedom that He only gives. I told him that when you want to, take off the chains and drop them on the floor, just like you leave those 2 things here, they are off you and wont come back on, because it was YOUR choice to let those chains on you and it’s YOUR choice now to take them off and give them to God and run free for the first time in years. So after saying that I prayed an intense prayer that I never even heard before, doing massive warfare for this kid, he started crying, still holding tightly to those chains, feeling their grip, identifying their hold on his life. I saw him uncoil the chains on his hands and prepare to drop them, and during my prayer, unaware of when he would drop them, I heard the familiar chain sound hit the floor, and just then he was physically knocked back by the presence of God, coughing a deep, phlegm cough that resonated deep in him about 4 times (he never coughed before or after) but I kept him up because I wasn’t about to let my battle partner fall. I continued in prayer as he stood like a piece of human jelly, obviously what was in him was defeated and gone, I prayed that the Lord would fill him, fill the areas that were torn out, making him a whole being, one who could find himself strong, and fight.
After the prayer, his eyes glazed over, he simply said “Thank you Tim” and I quickly said “Dude- thank God!” and he closed his eyes and started worshiping without a second thought, I gave him a hug shortly after and said “Breathe the free air again” and gave him one of the many coins that my dad gave me to hand out to the youth over here, as a reminder of what happened today, your choice, and that God madly loves you. The rest of the night I saw him on the floor, worshipping and soaking in Gods presence.
***Thank you God for your freedom and acceptance, the pure love that you have for us that everyone needs to experience more than just words on a page, but the room filling presence of God through a simple choice of letting go, and letting God. Amen.***
Just before the night was over, I had the privilege of talking to a mom who had a daughter and a son (Both kids over 20). The son had a girlfriend who got pregnant, and her parents forced her to have an abortion. Devastated, the Son now has depression and bouts with suicidal thoughts.
The mother who was telling me all this told me that everyone was in the Philippines and needed prayer, and wondered if… (as she slipped out a tape recorder) …you could pray for my son?
I
I’m not going to lie, I was like “Long distance prayer! SWEET! Reach out and touch someone!” but I knew God was up to something, and He was.
I began praying for the son, his broken, bleeding heart, healing, etc… It was pretty stereotypical until God moved upon me to tell the mother during the prayer “Tell your son you love him” and she said it about 10 times, being more emotional each time, then slipping in “I’m so proud of you, my son” nearly holding on to me because she was pouring into her son after I did, but little did I know it was God’s turn… and I’m getting misty eyed just thinking about this, but God showed me his aborted son, alive in heaven, and I told him that! I said as I quickly bursed into the sobbing tears where you cant speak, but managed to brokenly utter:
“Your baby is in heaven, looking at you…”
“Saying: “Daddy…”
“I love you”
“I cant wait to see you”
“…Daddy”
"I'm OK, don't be sad, I'm OK"
In the middle of me saying all of that I was weeping over the tape recorder, holding the mother, weeping together, praying for healing…
This went on for 10 minutes of recorded prayer for her daughter, the family, everything. And I KNOW FOR A FACT that as true as God was moving through me during all that prayer, lives will be eternally touched because of listening to God and obeying Him.
****
Do you have any chains that hold you back? Maybe it’s addictions, mistakes, or regret, or anything for that matter! Make a choice to let it Go, Find someone you trust to help you break the chains that hold you back from living a life of physical and eternal freedom, Choose.
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