My stitches dream

Dream:

I woke up very groggy, fuzzy vision and unable to hear to well... after a moment or so I was able to see I was in a doctors office with a doctor and my mom in the room. My head was on my mom's lap and the doctor was just standing close to me. I had NO idea why I was in the hopital, but the look on my mom's face and the doctors looked sad at best.

My mom finally set my head down and said "It's ok Tim, you can let go" (Meaning, it's ok to die, were here for you) so as I laied there I looked down off my bed at the floor and saw a vision of heaven below... A great inviting pool of water with plants and trees I have never seen before, the air itself had a golden feel and glow. It was just a glimpse of something far away from anything else, and it seemed like an adventure that would be so amazing, and by dying, I would be beginning that journey.

After a moment of awe and gazing, I sat back in my doctors bed and chose to stay alive. After like 5 minutes, my mom got up and in a very caring voice said "Goodbye Tim" as if she was never going to see me again. The door opened, and she left to do some errands.

The doctor stayed in the room for about an hour, seemingly waiting for me to die. During this time, I moved my toes and legs gently and realized they felt really tight and uncomfortable. The doctor eventually grabbed his keys and left, without a word... assuming I would die sometime in the night. The light clicked off, the door shut, and I was alone.

I stared at the ceiling and moved my legs slightly, wondering what was going on, choosing not to die, but I was on the verge all night. It was literally HOURS in real dream time, sitting there, alone, trying to stay alive, trying to wonder what happened. A bible verse echoed in my head "Choose life so that others may live" so I actively chose to live, fighting the urges to let go.

Hours went by as I simply laid there. After the sun came up, the sound of the doctor entering the hospital was obvious, as he came into the room I was in, he didn't even check to see if I was alive, I just said "Well hey there" and he jumped in fear. He looked over at me and said "Woah! Your alive" and quickly put in an I.V. in my arm, i finally fell into a nice sleep that I needed...

I woke up feeling a lot better, until i moved... I felt that bizarre feeling in my legs again as I laid there, but I got quickly bored just laying there, so I got up, VERY SLOWLY. I pulled out the IV and walked slowly to the mirror...

The image I saw in the mirror was so disturbing, Its hard to describe... Thousands of stitches up and down my body, at all angles. My upper lip, cheeks, nose, forehead, neck, legs, All of it was full of stitches. I lifted up my shirt very slowly to see more stitches, there was not two square inches of unstitched flesh. I looked like a walking Frankenstein, and had no idea how I got that way...

I walked outside with the utmost of care, loving the mid-morning sunlight (I didnt sleep too long). I saw Alex E. from Montana run to me, the whole time I was saying "Wait, slow down!.. no..." and he game me a massive hug anyway, looked at me, and happily asked me how I was doing. In the anxious love he was freely giving me, he didnt notice anything out of place, and just made eye contact... after a moment he asked "What's wrong?" and I just looked at him, as to say "Cant you see my face??" then he finally said "Oh!" as he noticed, then looked up and down me and said "OH!!" He had no idea.

The meaning of what this dream meant is very intense, and is playing out daily... God is transforming me day by day, becoming a living sacrifice, removing iniquity and learning what ministry really is.