Mornings

There's something to be said for waking up early, before all the noise.

Listening to some calm music, sipping on some coffee and asking God "What would you like me to do today?"

http://www.spurgeon.org/morn_eve/this_morning.cgi
Quick morning devotional

Nazi Christians V.S. Jesus Christians

I used to watch WW2 Documentaries as a child, they fascinated me, so much intrigue going on behind the scenes of the Nazi regime. It wasn't just a war of domination, for Hitler, it was a search for spiritual power. He had teams go out and search for artifacts including the ark of the covenant, the holy grail, anything from the time of Jesus... Anything. He knew there was some spiritual power that he could tap into, and he was willing to kill because of his lust for the supernatural. Obviously it was steeped in the occult, but the point I want to get at, is that He wanted the power of God without the process to get it.

It's like if we heard about a magical orb that would make us walk on water, heal people, and do things supernaturally, we would probably want it. In church we hear stories about Jesus doing miracles, and then hearing Jesus say "You will do greater miracles than I" ... That provokes thought of "I want to perform miracles! 

I have tried to part lakes, walk on water, heal people, raise animals from the dead, and probably a few other failed miracles that didn't work. But what I didn't realize until later, is that I had a "Nazi" mindset, I tried to attain greatness without going through the process. I wanted the power without going to the source of power.

Jesus is supposed to be our example, we have heard that, but who actually does it? Is it possible to live out the "Christian life" and walk as the pastor says? Or should we look to Jesus, read the bible for what it is, and let "Sunday Service" be more of a secondary growth opportunity? 

We need to be careful when we live our lives to not build our own empires, but to seek out Gods Kingdom in our life. It's not by our own works we become holy, it's when we join the human race and realize were broken and need a savior. Reach out to others in the right attitude!

Pain and Reward: A Choice

I have been going through the RINGER for the past month. It has been one of the most painful points of my whole life... Even in that, words cannot express the pain and torment I have experienced.

Now, keep in mind, I'm not saying any of this to recieve any pity, but wanting to offer a hope that you, the reader, may need someday, if not now.

I was spending some quality time with God a while back, and I felt a kind of distance when I was praying, like I was shouting up to heaven, hoping God would hear me kind of prayer... and in that moment I knew there was something in me that was blocking my relationship with God... so I prayed a dangerous prayer.

"God, I know I'm not perfect. I know there's stuff I see and stuff I dont see in the depths of who I am that you want to get rid of. Destroy me. All that stuff that is in the way of us- Destroy it. Grab onto the depths of my soul and who I am and YANK! God, I want you to Destroy me. Please. In Jesus Name, Amen"

And He did. 

The prayer was seemingly easy to pray, but to understand the depths that God was going to work, was painful beyond all pain I have ever experienced... But the really cool thing is, I knew through all of it that it was God literally yanking stuff out of me, and I wanted to hold onto some of it, and other parts came out painfully slow... But remembering that it was Gods hand doing the work stopped me from praying "God WHY?!" because I already knew the answer.

When God shows you the profound depths of how wrong you are, and how you should change, there's a fight. It's super easy for a moderate Christian to say "Yea, I'll do anything it takes to be more like Jesus" and sing songs "...Holyness, is what I long for..." but live there lives ignorantly to the fact that God is answering there prayers, and they think God is just a bully... Hello??

But walking through this pain, I can easily identify with walking through the valley of the shadow of death, because I have had thoughts of suicide and hurting myself. You may be thinking "Oh no! This isnt God's will! Get out! Pray for God to rescue you" Isn't that what People told Jesus when he was on the cross? Did Jesus suffer so we can life perfect lives and have doughnuts before church? No. Dont settle for "Cheap Grace" Settle in the fact that between the Present and the Promise is a Proscess... and God wants to make you more like His son.

No matter what your going through, through the pain and tears, God is Good. He works out all things for good for those who love and trust Him. 

Lies I Hear

It's seems too often these days when I pray and ask God for help, or just want a closer relationship with Him. But the seeming problem is that shortly after, there's all these's issues that pop up like disunity within the team, or be believing lies that I haven't heard or dealt with since Childhood.

Some people may think "See, that's why I don't pray to God, He just wants to hurt us" When my personal belief is that those painful times are opportunities to give to God the exact things that are hindering Gods help or a closer relationship. Turns out that when we pray, God can answer that prayer any way He deems fit. Who knew? :)

So next time your angry because of circumstances, ask yourself, "Is this an answer to prayer?" And talking to God about it. What familliar option would you typically choose?

1) Eating

2) Running away

3) Covering it up

4) Trying to be king over it

Stretching

It's been a long time since I posted in here, and for good reason. Combining being super busy and more busy, I have done nothing but grow and learn about what it means to be a man. It's frustrating to fail and mess up, but it's how you take the correction and discipline that has a stretching effect on who you are. I must rely on God to give me all the support and "water" I need, because when I'm surrounded my pruning sheers, I know growth will be inevitable- but that's not what I am to focus on. It's the Love and comfort that only Christ can give in times of need and pain. He alone will help you more than all the other things we want to run to. It's a choice, always has been, always will be.

God told me one day "Stretch more" and I thought it was for exercise reasons, which it may be, but I realized it was more for me to reach further into God, into my circumstances, and not be terrified. So I continue to do that which God has me to today, walk in obedience, grow, and pray.

ASIA 2012 UPDATE

Ok! Whoever is reading these posts, I'm going to be blogging for Generations of Virtue instead of this one. the blog is http://www.apuregeneration.com/ And there's someone in Africa, but the GOV team is in Asia for a few months. Come check us out! :)

Processes and Revelations

It began months ago, when I was kneeling in the garage, crying because I needed a friend. God said "I'm right here" and that alone made me realize how much idolatry was in my life, and how I looked to others for comfort, love, approval, etc. Pretty much every positive emotion I looked to others to fulfill, because it seemed more "real" than Gods.

I began to apologize to people for my errors both back in Montana, and here in Colorado. I was about to take a journey inside that I never knew I would ever take. I started slipping back into old habits that left me eventually feeling empty, reaching out to others rather than God- Again. This time, I hurt someone back in Montana, and I knew I had to tell my leaders. The next week hurt like hell and felt like heaven. I could honestly feel the process of getting rid of my old man, he was there since I was a child, and now with him gone- I can see much clearer.

Most people would not want to go through the process I'm going through, but I'm holding onto the promise that has been set before me by God himself. Turns out that "between the present and the promise, there's a process." (Credit given to Kris Valliton for that quote) And it's that process I want to go through, not glorify, but complete. I want Gods work to be whole in me, and not me asking for it to hurry up so the promise could some sooner- and me not be prepared for it.

This season of my life, I'm finding myself not emotionally connected to anyone, I don't have any best friends or am even able to build on the friendships that have been created. Working 10-13 hours a day with people who have deadlines nearly every day for tasks and schedules, all I can do is smile and know Gods work and will is being done in my life. I cant and wont complain because literally every aspect of what I do is God working in me something beautiful.

And it's Him I trust.