Sick and tired

JOURNAL ENTRY::
  "Its our final missions trip this yer, I was sick, literally through the whole thing, and I had a good time with families and kids... But now that were done I realize something. Being surrounded by "type A" people, (Leaders, strong personality type) I tend to shrink back, and no one wants to really be in a close relationship, just a business relationship. Everyone talks about what's next, what was, or what needs to be done now... I ask if anyone wants to play cards, and its viewed as a waste of time. Don't people believe in team building exercises? Communication? Being approachable? I feel like I'm my prime spot in ministry- this is easily one of the best ministries I have ever been involved in, and its a pleasure and privlage to even work with- not to mention be hired by them to work all over the world... Its so fulfilling in every aspect of life except one. Relationships. I don't feel close to anyone, and to a degree, I really don't feel like my opinion matters or that I'm even heard, with that said, part of me feels like its dying, and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing- but reguardless, I have longed for a meaningful conversation or hug for months, and it seems like I'm just in a desert. I know I'm not alone, but I feel like it. So weird."

Ok- I wrote the a while ago, and I cant believe how selfish and needy I was. well, I was sick, but at least my negative emotions and bad attitude were held in "Draft" on here and didn't go out for everyone to see. I thought about deleting this draft, but realizing that everyone is human and needs to work out our own iniquity and issues, allowing God to work on who you are. The text above is how I was, and God is changing me day by day.
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